A new year is upon us and I am sure we have all seen our share of social media hoopla about "new year, new me" or "crush your 2023 goals" or "this is your year". And while this may indeed may be your year, you may indeed evolve into a 'new' you this year (actually I hope you have some level of evolution in your life this year), and you may crush your goals this year and far surpass them lets be honest about all of these social media and societal catch phrases for this time of year. Let's be honest with ourselves as we 'forecast' what we want out of the coming 365 days that make up our societal 2023 calendar.
I have over the years fallen into the trap of thinking I was a new person on January 1st of a new year. Thinking this is the year I'm going to loose those 30 pounds or be more organized or finally finish that project I've had sitting in the inevitable junk room we all have. And while each of these thoughts are noble causes for a variety of reasons it's like January 1st comes and we magically think our habits, our being, and our daily living routines are going to shift and cause these thoughts to happen just because it's a new year. But do they really?
What deems January 1st of every year to be the day that the magical shift happens? And if you humor me for a moment what is the magical shift? Do we physiologically, mentally, and/or emotionally change when the clock strikes midnight? Well of course we don't.
For some of us a new year signifies a clean slate for which we can build new things, for others of us it signifies an ending of something, sometimes a difficult year filled with tragedy, or just a year filled with unlucky things piling up. I can create space for the new found clean slate and I challenge to find space too in which you can enjoy the clean slate, however back to that honesty question, does the stroke of midnight truly take away all that the last year carried with it, of course not.
The emotional, physical, and mental baggage are coming right on with you into the new year. Now I don't say this to depress and discourage leading into a new year but rather to give ourselves grace that it isn't all going away just because the page on the calendar flipped and we suddenly are writing a new year behind all of our dates, which by the way it will take me the entirety of January to write the correct year.
For me the baggage of this year will carry over into 2023, the emotions, the mental anguish and joys, and the physical ailments will greet me at 12:01 just as they did at 11:59. The end of 2021 struck huge emotional shifts for me, loosing a parent, taking leave from my teaching job and moving into a new home, all of which followed me into 2022. This year was no different for me, the year was filled with joys, anguish and everything into between with a whole host of continuing shifts and changes in my life. Some of which included marrying my life partner, adding a beautiful puppy into our family, struggling to leave a classroom officially and start up my own thing, and working on a daily basis in the depths of grief, despair, and a new sense of living. All of which will carry over this Saturday night into Sunday morning.
Over the coming weeks we will see the onslaught of commercials for weight loss programs, new magical potions that will 'fix' our ailments, and a whole host of social media posts sharing new goals each of us have and how we intend on keeping them. Some of us may even choose to share our daily/weekly progress of our goals on social media as a form of accountability. And that is fine if that is for you, but for those of us out there that so desperately want to be able to do that each year but find it's just not in us, or find our goals and life aspirations more private and sometimes fleeting, give yourself grace. Grace to feel, know and embrace the you that you are. Know that your on going life story is being lived out in other ways that fulfill you. For some of us, getting out of bed each morning in the deep dark snowy wintery month of January might be our unspoken goal, for others it may be simply to remember to pack their own lunch each day and not leave it sitting in the refrigerator. For others of us the act of existing, of being fully present in the moments of our life and day will help us to get through and awaken us to new starts. All of which are beautiful ways to honor yourself, your needs, and be gracious in a time that can often feel pressure filled as we watch others around us "crushing" it on those new years goals. Reminder: social media is the highlight real, not the true depth of the person in which you are seeing. There is so much more.
A few years ago I started choosing a word at the bringing of the year to guide my year ahead. I started this after I saw Five Foot One Teacher's one word project (Click here to see her awesome vlog) and others share their 'word' for the year. This year my word is grace. This year I am going to give myself grace. Something I have struggled with for so long. Grace to do and be who I know I am in the depths of my being. Grace when the self sabotage and self doubt creep in. Grace on the days that getting out of bed is a courageous feat. Grace in the moments when failure is fresh and I want to give into the voices saying give up on whatever I may be doing. Grace in the moments where I am not feeling like my best self. Grace for the people around me, for I only know the smallest pieces of their story. Grace in the moments the are beautiful, in the moments that are hard, and all the moments in between. This is going to be my year of grace.
Happy New Year!
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